When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites you, don't keep it to yourself.

This morning I woke up with a bunch of bug bites on my knees. They are absolutely torture.

I think that explains my dream about a giant scorpion in my bed.

Although perhaps Freud would say otherwise.

Needless to say, all of my bedding is in the wash right now.

As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared.

Have you been watching this?

GMA was having a special edition this morning. They kept showing these reunions, and I was almost crying on the treadmill.

Yay for Chile!

***

Last month I got summoned for jury duty. While waiting for the day to arrive, I had to shuffle my classes a little bit. After doing that, I had to call a hotline last night and find out if I had to report for duty or not.

I didn't have to go.

I found myself kind of disappointed by that. I think I was hoping for this:

***

I am working on rewriting one of the classes that I teach. Today I was searching for some articles to use in class, and flipping through a textbook I came across an article called "I Want a Wife" by Judy Someone or other.

The article gives a lot of examples of how a wife takes care of the husband, children, and household. The author comments several times that she wants a wife, because she needs to be taken care of.

When I was an undergrad, I worked one summer with a program that trained AP Biology teachers and got them certified. Being a peon, my job was to make sure all the little components were in place to make the program run smoothly. So I had to get the snacks together, make photocopies, and set up the labs that the teachers would do.

One day, I came in and the women who taught the program were running around a little crazy. I asked what was up, and they said they had forgotten to do something that they needed. I calmly said that I had done it.

The main teacher looked at me and said, "Will you marry me?"

It became one of the big jokes because she really wanted a wife.

After reading this article and remembering that experienced, I realized, I want a wife. It would be so nice to have someone take care of me.

***

Driving to and from work the past couple of days, I have seen a whole row of bikes with a sign that says For Sale by Owner. I keep thinking about calling and getting one.

And then I remember the day after I first rode a bike in Italy.

Maybe it's like if you give a mouse a cookie. If you buy a bike, you have to buy padded bike shorts.

This is exactly why I created nurses. Clean up on aisle three!

Fun student writing:

"My goal is to become a needle nadle nurse. I love children and want to work with babies."

Translation: neonatal nurse.

And this just reminded me of my job and boss during undergrad. We worked with middle schoolers, and had one who wanted to become an architect. She told him he couldn't do it until he learned how to spell it.

Truth like-like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.

I feel the need to brag on myself. Look at how pretty this is.

It's for a friend who is having a baby girl in November. And I am now discovering that the problem with crafting things to give away is that I don't think anyone will really like it or actually appreciate it.

I'm going to give it away anyway.

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger.

Best moment of the faculty association meeting today:

One woman is explaining the new additions to the children's library. She finishes by saying that we also have free software to prepare a will. It's a great resource, etc, etc, and can even do other legal documents.

The man next to her says, "Will it do prenups?"

And in my mind:

"Holla we want prenup!" "We want prenup, yeah!"

I just read a 903-page astronomy book in 32.6 seconds.

Book Reviews

Lioness and her Knight by Gerald Morris

A young adult book set in Arthurian England. This is a young adult book that is really a tween book. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities. The characters are flat, the story is utterly predictable, and it's slow moving.

***

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

A young adult fantasy about a group of brilliant youngsters who save the world. This was a good read. It is clever, a completely unique story, and very smart. I highly recommend it. My favorite part was the girl's bucket.

***

The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan (number 2 in the Percy Jackson series)

The series remained good for the second one. The descriptions of the gods, especially when they become human are very clever.

***

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

Picoult likes to write novels about hot topic issues. I loved her "My Sister's Keeper" but got burnt out after I tried to read every book that she wrote. It's been a while, and so when Heather recommended this one, I was surprised, but decided to try it. It was a really good read. The issue that Picoult deals with is autism and she does a good job of expressing how everyone in a family deals with it when a member of the family has autism.

***

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (the third book in the Hunger Games)

I love the Hunger Game series. It is really engaging. Again with the third book, I couldn't put it down. I was disappointed with the end though.

She would go all the way to Italy for a stamp in her passport.

You thought I got through my entire trip to Japan in just 4 posts. Ha!

Actually the funnier part of that is I started the Japan posts and put part 1. And then Heather called me and said, "You only got through one day in part one!! How many parts are there going to be?!!" Of course the answer to that is: As many as I want.

Just some random reflections.

When I go on vacation with my sisters, there is always a food tour component. Carla (in particular) is still talking about the place we had breakfast in Chicago -- the Bongo Room. If you've checked out Heather's blog over the summer, you have certainly seen some of the amazing food she had in Japan.

I got kind of worried about that before I went. Heather was bummed she couldn't take me to all of the amazing restaurants, but I told her we would just have to consider this not a food tour. As unfortunate as it is.

Despite all that, I still ate some really amazing food. All of Heather's pictures of food were very Top Chef looking. And that carries over into all of the food. The Japanese are very serious about quality. They want things to be consistent and to look right. The other amazing thing is the fruit. It's incredibly expensive, but it tastes so amazing.

And I just keep thinking, sure, I can buy 2 lbs of strawberries for $2.50 in America, but when they have no flavor, why do I want to?

And oh the grapes! So, so good.

***

People have asked me if I learned any Japanese while I was there. I say sure, I learned konichiwa and arrigato.

And what I realized is that more than learning a spoken language, I learned the non-verbal language. I learned to bow. I can't even joke and tell people the two words that I learned without bowing.

It was so funny to me to walk through the train station and see the businessmen bow to each other. Even better than that were the people who bowed to the elevators. And best of all, the workers who bowed to the buses.

***

And I got another stamp in my passport.

Apparently I was way too out of it when I arrived in Tokyo, because I didn't even notice them put the stamp in. But then I flipped through my passport prior to departure and got really excited because there is a nice big stamp.

Which just makes me think (skip to about minute 8):