I do not believe in fairies. I do not believe in fairies.

Yay for me! I just finished writing the final exam and study guide for class #2.

I am enjoying the Facebook commentaries among all my teacher-ly friends. Apparently everyone is to the point where they are just ready to be done. My students who love to misinterpret the meanings of our class readings would say it is "the tipping point." Just to be clear, it's not.

Some of the comments from today:

Friend one: wonders when "assignment due in class" changed to "due whenever the student feels like." Apparently I missed that memo when I spent 3 hours writing my syllabus.

Responses:
1. yeah.. I also love how the attendance policy seems to not matter the last three weeks of class... silly rabbits...
2. It also matters very little to me. I'm terrible at this.
3. why do i want the little turds to succeed? why can't i just let them FAIL like they deserve...
4. Today a student showed up to class empty-handed and said "We have until 3:00 to turn our papers in, right?" I'd like to know from whence he pulled this arbitrary time when nothing has ever been due at anyt other time except in class.

Friend two: Student Quote out of Context: "I have changed my topic from the differences between light and dark beer to the ethics of abortion."

Responses:
1. Awesome! That type of statement is a good portion as to why I teach college freshmen.
2. Uh, I would prefer to read the former. I never allow my students to write on abortion.

Which just reminds me. When I assigned the argument paper for my class, one student asked, "Can we write it on any subject?"
I responsed, "Yes, I've been letting you choose your subject all semester, and it says right on the assignment sheet to choose your own topic. So yes."
The student said, "Well, I was just wondering, because I've had teachers tell me that if they had to read another paper on some topic they would just fail that paper."
Student #2 chimed in, "Yeah, like abortion or lowering the drinking age."
Me, "Ah, yes. And I totally know why. So I will say this about your topic. Think very carefully about whether you have something interesting and new to say on the subject. If you do not, you will not get a good grade. That is all."

My favorite teacher-ly rant of the day though went a little something like this. My office-mate and I were sitting in our office, and then my boss came by to talk to my office mate, teacher #3 came by to exhult, and teacher #4 couldn't resist getting in on the conversation.

Teacher #3: I have modified my online class instructions. Here, let me tell you: "At the end of the submission period for all online work, the Blackboard fairies sprinkle fairy dust and close the submission. This makes it impossible for me to receive and grade late work. Late work will not be accepted, because the fairy dust cannot be undone."
Teacher #2: Oh no, mine is better. When they come to me with some story of some terrible calamity that prevented them from turning in their work I say, "Wow. All that happened? God must really hate you." Then the student says, "Will you accept this?" And I say, "No way! God hates you, but she's all right with me at the moment. I'm not gonna mess that up!"
Teacher #1: Yeah, with all the calamity and death that happens around here, I think we rival Sunnydale. Our town must be invested with vampires.
Teacher #3: I just liked my fairies.