Hey cowgirls, see the grass? Don't eat it.

Carla said that she has some time to kill these days. So I thought I could help her out by writing a post full of funny stories.

And that leaves me wracking my brains for funny stories.

Story Number 1

I wrote that as a title, and now I have a totally new first story to share.

I am friends on facebook with many of my grad school compatriots, many of whom are also professors now.

Yesterday, one of my friends posted, "I can't believe the things that I say in class sometimes. I just told my students that a bad title is like granny panties. Not sexy!"

Story Number 2: Or Carla's Sister

In the movie A League of Their Own, there is a great scene at the beginning where Kit complains to her sister about how hard it is to be her sister. She says, "Have you ever heard Dad introduce us?" Then imitating the father's voice, "This is our daughter Dottie. This is our other daughter, Dottie's sister."





While hanging out with my family, Carla claimed that that was what it was like when Dad introduced me.

And now I will say, yup that was a small moment of payback. Because here is what the rest of our lives are like:

I was sitting in church last Sunday and one of the women introduced me to her sister who was visiting. In trying to be a nice person, I chatted with her for a moment, where are you from? (Omaha) how long are you here? etc.

Then another friend interrupted to ask me how my family in North Carolina did with Hurricane Irene. I said they were fine. And the visitor said, "Oh you are from North Carolina? What part? We lived there for 23 years! I'm sure I know your parents!"

I was sure she couldn't possibly, so I answered her questions, but wasn't particularly interested.

The church lesson started and so we didn't say anything further.

Until the lesson was over and she turned to me and said, "Wait! Are you Carla Morgan's sister?"

Story Number 3

After church my home teacher came to visit me. We sat and chatted for a minute and then he quickly turned the conversation to marveling on how I am still single.

In an attempt to explain this (yeah, I really can't), he thinks I am fabulous and can't understand or imagine why anyone wouldn't want to marry me. And he chooses to actually vocalize this bewilderment.

But on Sunday, the story goes beyond bewilderment, because he said "I know a single man, and I just can't understand why he's still single. So I told him, 'You don't have to marry her! Just take her out to dinner!"

I just groaned (hopefully internally) at this, and laughed it off.

And then my book club came over last night.

We talked about the book for about 20-25 minutes. If you think that is lame or not typical, in our defense it was a crappy book. (Yes, I'm due for posting some book reviews). Then we were chatting about life in general.

I'm new to the book group, so one of the ladies asked me if I live in my house alone, and I said yup.

She turned to the other ladies and said, "Is _______ the only single man at church?" (Sorry, it feels totally wrong to actually put someone's name in here).

And another lady sits up super straight and grins and says, "No! A new one just moved in!" And looks at me all excited.

After a few minutes of chatter, she was still looking way too happy about this, and so I said, "You look really happy about that, and it is scaring me. No setting me up!"

***

Ok, so that last story isn't actually funny. But since I took the time to write it out, I figure it will at least give Carla something to read. I guess the more entertaining part was a third lady, who is probably 35/36 and was single until she got married almost two years ago, who sat and talked like she was on my side (don't let them pressure you, don't let them set you up, leave her alone, I understand) until she said, "But online dating is great, you should really try it."

***

Story Number 4

And to close things out, a work/school story for you.

In my English 101 class, the first assignment is to write a profile. I am working on teaching this class better than I did last fall (because although the students certainly contributed, I don't think they were the only reason the class was so frustrating). So I revamped how I set things up and talked a lot about profiles this week.

I took in books and magazines as examples, and we even watched a clip from Dirty Jobs.

Then we talked about how to gather information for the profile and I discussed several ways to gather information, but put a lot of emphasis on interviewing. So to build their interviewing skills, I told them to write questions that they would ask me if they were interviewing me.

And then, in a daring move, I let each student ask a question.

They asked some really good questions. Many were thoughtful and required me to really think about the answer.

The entire class had a good laugh when a student asked, "Is there anything really interesting or significant that we don't know about you?"

I paused. Thought. Hemmed and hawed over what the significant thing could be.

And then I realized it was a closed question. So I said, "Yes." And moved on.

After concluding the "interview," I reiterated the points about being a good interviewer and ended the class. As I made my way back to my office I realized, they didn't even ask about my personal life.

What kind of people are these!

***

Sorry to anyone who actually spent time reading this post. I think this was not so much about entertaining Carla as it was about being bored at work. Today is one of my long days so I better go to class.