Friday, April 30, 2010

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Finally! Five hours of grading has finally paid off with another amusing tidbit. Something to live for.

In a paper about shopping on the internet:
"With the popularity growing people are feeling more comfortable sitting at home in front of their computer suffering the web for better bargains."

At least they are feeling comfortable while they are suffering.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Either way, you're having filet mignon.

Oh it's been so long since fabulous student writing. Here is today's gem for you:

"Right from the gecko I was wearily of the situation."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What about second breakfast?

There is one thing that almost everyone knows about me. I like to eat. And I eat a lot. Seriously. Even my students know this about me and like to point it out, because all of my examples in class are about food. Time to make up a sentence on the spur of the moment? Yes, it's about food. Again.

This is just one reason why I like Pip and Merry from the Lord of the Rings so much.

I have been reading a lot of Shakespeare recently. (Hopefully I get to teach a class this summer.) In A Midsummer Night's Dream there is a word for the meal that comes after dinner: aftersupper. Forget fourth meal and all it's Taco Bell associations. I'm having aftersupper.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

"Liar!" "Get back witch!" "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife, but after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!"

Remember me last year, looking so sad and pathetic?

Yeah. The cancer is back. So I'm doing treatments again.

I only bring this up, because there have been two funny stories. And I just can't resist sharing them.

First was the trip to the dermatologist. I called to schedule my 6 month checkup and they told me to come in the next day. Amazing. I used to have to wait 3 months.

I went in and the nurse made me put on the paper robe. That is super uncomfortable. I waited and waited and then the doctor came in and was checking me over. Which is also uncomfortable.

And then this song came on the radio:

Carla had posted this video the day before on her blog:

I was laying on the uncomfortable table, and just had to laugh.

Now with my treatment my face has a big scab right over my eyebrow. I decided that my story would be I walked into a door.

Friday was the first time I got to try out the story. A coworker passed me in the hall and said, "What did you do to your face?"

I just said, "I walked into a door."

She looked at me and said, "Did you really?" Now, let me explain the tone. Because so often we say that like "Seriously?" or "Wow, you are really silly" but she sounded like she genuinely didn't believe me.

I started chuckling and was about to admit that I did not in fact walk into a door. But before I could say anything she said, "You are just like these students. You should be careful."

(Secretly I started wondering later if she was making the assumption that I was drunk. But she knows I don't drink. Or at least I thought she did, but she was drinking at the time, so maybe she didn't notice.)

Today led to part two. I was talking with a guy at church, and he said, "Oh what did you do."

With much more polish I said, "I walked into a door."

He said, "Oh ow. Yeah, I used to tell people that when I got a really bad pimple. I was like, no, it's not a zit. I walked into a door."

I laughed and said, "So are you saying you don't believe me?"

He tried hard to cover up that one.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.

Have you seen this commercial?

I have tiny hands. And I'm a hand talker. Heather tells me that it is often distracting because I will wave my hands around, and rather than listening to what I am saying, people are thinking "Wow, tiny hands."

Last week I had a friend tell me she has started using one of my hand gestures. She said she caught herself doing it and then realized it was mine and was like that's so weird! I thought it was pretty funny.

It's even funnier because tonight, a student of mine (a male student of mine) came to see me, and two seconds after he left, he came back and said, "And why am I doing your hand gestures all the time? Why? I just don't get that!"

And I just laughed and laughed.