Monday, July 27, 2009

You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you.

Another funny high school story for you. Today was the assigned reading day, so I gave the kids time to catch up. Surprisingly, there are a few (like 2) who have finished the book, so I let them work on other things.

One sat writing for a little while, and then got out his cell phone. And was texting. So I just said, "Put the phone away." He said ok, and then moved his hand below the table. I said, "No. Put it away, not put it below the table."

He gave that huge, obnoxious-teenager sigh, and then was like, "But I'm typing my paper! Seriously, you can see it."

I totally didn't believe him. So I said, "Fine, bring it here."

He really was typing his paper. On his phone. His reason: "I can type so much faster on this thing than I can on a computer."

My response: "I have never seen that before." Oh, obviously I should insert here that this was not an iPhone or a Blackberry or anything fancy. It was just a little flip phone like the ones my parents have.

So I asked the whole class, "How many of you type your papers on your phones?" At least 7 of them said that they do. They will type it on their phones and then just email it to themselves.

And then I read the papers that they turned in today. And thought, well, typing it on the phone sure explains a lot.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I've decided to make you my new project.


I just finished my first major overhaul. So excited. So I got a nightstand for free. It was hideous. (Of course I'm not smart enough to take "Before" pictures, so just imagine this everywhere.) Yeah, that's right, plastic drawer fronts molded to look like a lot of ornate wood. What were people thinking?

Heather helped me rip all the hideous moulding off. Then I sanded and spray painted. I added a tiny bit of new moulding to fill in the holes. And with much fatigue and searching, I got new hardware.

And now, it looks like this:

Yay! It's not perfect. But I'm pretty proud of myself.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Spicy hot. Like salsa.

Two funny stories for you today.

I had the high schoolers write stories yesterday, so today I had them read the stories out loud. One began his story this way, "Once upon a time ago..." Instead of reading his own story, he made the girl beside him read it. She's a good reader and was doing voice inflections, which made it sound something like "Once upon a time, ago. Wait? What?! Once upon a time ago? Do you know what you wrote?!"

Second story. I was just eating salsa, because it's just that good, and noticed that under the lid of my Pace salsa jar, it says, "David Pace believed that his picante sauce made everything taste better. Including his coffee. That's not a serving suggestion, it's a fact."

I agree. Salsa makes everything better.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Will the Feng Shui Club please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn.

I'm making changes and additions to my little house. So here are some new pictures.

Here's my doormat

I put curtains up in my bedroom, they are ivory, but these pictures all came out dark, and the ones with the mini blinds open were too sunny. I also bought a nightstand for my bedroom. It's perfect for hiding the big stack of books I am currently reading.

And this is my bathroom. I got the chocolate and blue towels for it. And I thought it was fun to put my seashell in the bathroom. I also got hooks for my stinky gym clothes.

And here's the set up in my office room.

Moving back downstairs. Here's my mantle with a lamp and my little plant. And here's my free entertainment center and tv.

I decorated my little powder room. The towels match the lovely picture of gerber daisies.

And here's my little garden. Ok, it's all in containers.

(Thanks Mandi for the tip on turning the pictures!)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Lost, lost, lost. I've lost my marbles.

It's been a while since I've had a good gym story. Don't worry, I'm still going every day. I have actually been to the yoga class several times now. I really enjoy yoga, although last Friday, the lady had us doing some way crazy things that made me totally sore.

Back to today. There's a pretty large contingent of old women who come in about the time that I am at the gym. Most often they come for the "Silver Water Aerobics" class. I finished my run and walked back into the locker room, to find two old women had opened every single locker in the entire locker room (other than the 3 that were locked).

They were talking loudly to each other as they proceeded to another side of the gym to open more lockers. Then one finally yelled, "Does it have a pink towel in it?"


"Then I found it. It's right here."

The second lady slowly walked over and got her things.

Then a Susan, another old lady, walked in to the locker room. She walked over to where I was and said, "Why are all the lockers open?"

"Well, that lady lost her locker. So they had to open all of them to find her things," I said.

"And she couldn't close them again?" Susan responded. "That's how I was raised. You leave things better than you found them. You don't go leaving everything wide open."

I thought it was pretty funny. And old people are funny because they won't whisper when they are talking about someone.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I'll try not to get ink on the furniture.

I've been teased about my picture taking ability. Because I have none. But since you all deserve to see my fabulous new furniture, I am relying on Heather's picture taking ability.

This is the couch I bought. But not this color. I bought it in beige. Like this:

This is the chair I bought. But again, not in this color. I bought a lovely striped pattern of gold and white and blue. Although Heather does have wonderful picture taking ability, this picture doesn't do justice do the amazingness of this chair.

And this is my table. The only one of these things that is actually in my house. And it's great.

Yay for furniture. And yay for Heather's help.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

"Tisavor, Tisavor!" "Oh, a visitor. Well, she'll need a dress..."

My sister came to visit. We had a great visit. I had a ton of fun, and Heather is so great. She helped me buy furniture! Now I am the proud owner of a dining room table. I had to call a friend to pick it up in her Ford Explorer. The sales lady just laughed at me when I drove my Honda Civic to the store's loading dock.

Heather and I attached the legs, put the chairs together, and had pancakes as the inaugural meal. I had a friend over for lunch yesterday, and we had the second inaugural meal. I guess that means it's not inaugural anymore.

I also bought a couch and two chairs. They are awesome. But they won't be delivered until September. So when my friend walked in, her first question was "So, when are you going to get furniture?" (I have some camp chairs set up in the living room).

In addition to buying furniture, Heather and I went and did fun things in Kansas City. This town is full of cool stuff! It's too bad that we (we as a general human population) never go exploring in our own cities until someone from out of town comes.

Warning: The rest of this post is a travelogue. I like to write down what we did so I remember better. It's not really funny or exciting. But if you will come visit me, I'll take you to see cool things too.

We went to Starlight Theater, an outdoor theater that runs shows and concerts in the summer, and saw Legally Blonde (the musical). I will admit, I was a little unsure about this (yeah, and I'm the one who suggested it). The previous week was unbearably hot, 110 heat index for like 6 days. But when we went it was beautiful weather, clear and cool and no humidity. And the show was great. It was really funny, the music was well done and sing-able. They did a really good job.

Then we went to Union Station. It is the old train station that made Kansas City a thriving metropolis. Now it has shops, museum exhibits, and amtrak trains. We saw a really cool exhibit about the Chronicles of Narnia. It was interactive, and they connected a lot of the information from the movies to educational information about the world today. We also went to an exhibit about the history of the railroads and Union Station. That was really interesting as well.

On Friday, our plans got rained out, so we went shopping. It was great.

Saturday, we went to Powell Gardens. It is a huge garden with many different informative things. It was gorgeous. They have a new exhibit that is all food, and they let you try some. The lady fed us cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, and blueberries. She had an heirloom tomato that was just bliss. Melt in your mouth slice of heaven. So good. The flowers were pretty too.

On the radio I heard about a jazz concert that was being held for free on Sunday afternoon. So we took a drive north to the ritzy part of town, and listened to the military jazz band. It was great. Again a really pleasant evening, and it was fun to listen to all the good jazz songs. And then we walked around the super ritzy neighborhood for a minute. Heather grabbed a flyer from one of the houses that was for sale, and said, "Oh that's not even close to being as expensive as I thought! It's affordable!" For $739,000. Cheap housing out here in the Midwest.

We wound up with more time than we realizes on Monday, so we started to go to a restored train depot that a friend had mentioned to me. But I didn't see the sign and drove right past it, and then decided that I wanted to show Heather an old estate where I saw a friend get married. Well, I was just going to look around, but it turns out that they do tours of the inside of the home. So we decided to do that. It was really cool, they have done a lot of work fixing it up and restoring it.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Beauty school dropout, go back to high school.

Whew! A whirlwind week, so I guess some updating is in order...

I got involved in teaching for the Upward Bound program. For those who don't know, it's an educational program for high school students that encourages them to attend college. It's geared toward students who wouldn't otherwise consider college as a possibility.

I say I got involved. At the moment I feel like I was suckered in to it.

The first day was last Monday. Has it only been a week? That kind of makes me want to cry.

Monday was horrible. Worst classes ever. The students were rude and disrespectful, and only with difficulty was I able to get them to do what I wanted.

I stewed and steamed all afternoon. I was really upset.

Tuesday I went in and set the rules. In addition to setting rules, I set the punishment. Push ups. 10.

They just started at me.

"Are you serious?"


Tuesday went so much better. We had a good class, they sat at the front, they talked, they did what I asked them to. It was so much better.

The rest of the week continued to go well. Until I had to tell the one rowdy and rude child to do push ups. She did them, and was furious at me. She chose to punish me with silence. What a boon!

Yesterday, I had to threaten her again with push ups. Again she is "punishing" me with silence.

Today, I threatened another student with push ups. Silence is his usual gig, so maybe he'll try a different punishment for me.

Although things have been much better than the first day, and I hope I will survive, the thing that I have noticed, more than anything else, is how whiny these students are. They whine nonstop. Every sound out of their mouth is a whine, or to make a whine. It's so annoying.

Today, I took them outside. At first they were thrilled, "We're going on a field trip?!" Then we took about 10 steps outside. "I'm hot." "I'm tired." "I want to sit down." "There are rocks in my shoes." "There are bugs out here." "They are cutting the grass."

I'm so mean though. I made them walk the 0.25 mi loop around the soccer field. Whining the whole way.