Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mawiage. Mawiage is what bwings us together today.

For a pick-me-up today (on this day that is filled with a little too much drama and needy-ness), we shall return to our favorite segment: Student Writing.

In an argument:
"Many people view marriage as a mild stone in their life."

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Roma Italia

Today President Monson completed the groundbreaking for the Rome, Italy Temple.

I am beyond excited.

More sites and news:

From way up here, you all look like little ants!


I'm having a HORRIBLE BUG day!!

This is GIANT BUG number 3.

If you would like to know the others:
Bug #1: a giant wooly caterpillar
Bug #2: The most giant creepy looking bug I have ever seen! Totally unidentifiable
Bug #3: This giant guy
Bug #4: a silverfish

I killed them all.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Time for your lobotomy, Jack!

I teach two eight week classes each semester. The one that covers the first eight weeks just ended on Thursday night.

As part of the final exam, the students had to write a paragraph based on one of the prompts that I gave them. My favorite prompt out of these says, "Many experiences leave scars. Write the story of one of your scars." Last semester I learned that I had to specifically say I only wanted to read stories about physical scars. So I remembered to tell the students that.

One student has written before about how she was in a really terrible car accident. It's a sad story, but she's very chill about talking about it.

In her scar story she wrote about the scar that the accident left around her ear. She calls it her "shark bite scar," and if anyone ever asks she calmly tells them it's from a shark bite.
great white shark

I laughed at that, because I have the perfect made-up story for my scar too. It goes something like this:

Person: "Wow, that's a big scar. What happened?"
Me: "Oh that? It's nothing. It's from my lobotomy."
Person: [laughs nervously] "Yeah, right."
Me: [laughing not nervously] "Yeah, ok. That's just the story I tell people when I don't want to admit that I had a face-lift."
Person: [totally believes me at this point, and doesn't know how to comment on a 29 year old having a face-lift].

Unfortunately (or very fortunately), my scar is so well-hidden in my hairline that I have never actually had this conversation.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites you, don't keep it to yourself.

This morning I woke up with a bunch of bug bites on my knees. They are absolutely torture.

I think that explains my dream about a giant scorpion in my bed.

Although perhaps Freud would say otherwise.

Needless to say, all of my bedding is in the wash right now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared.

Have you been watching this?

GMA was having a special edition this morning. They kept showing these reunions, and I was almost crying on the treadmill.

Yay for Chile!

Last month I got summoned for jury duty. While waiting for the day to arrive, I had to shuffle my classes a little bit. After doing that, I had to call a hotline last night and find out if I had to report for duty or not.

I didn't have to go.

I found myself kind of disappointed by that. I think I was hoping for this:

I am working on rewriting one of the classes that I teach. Today I was searching for some articles to use in class, and flipping through a textbook I came across an article called "I Want a Wife" by Judy Someone or other.

The article gives a lot of examples of how a wife takes care of the husband, children, and household. The author comments several times that she wants a wife, because she needs to be taken care of.

When I was an undergrad, I worked one summer with a program that trained AP Biology teachers and got them certified. Being a peon, my job was to make sure all the little components were in place to make the program run smoothly. So I had to get the snacks together, make photocopies, and set up the labs that the teachers would do.

One day, I came in and the women who taught the program were running around a little crazy. I asked what was up, and they said they had forgotten to do something that they needed. I calmly said that I had done it.

The main teacher looked at me and said, "Will you marry me?"

It became one of the big jokes because she really wanted a wife.

After reading this article and remembering that experienced, I realized, I want a wife. It would be so nice to have someone take care of me.

Driving to and from work the past couple of days, I have seen a whole row of bikes with a sign that says For Sale by Owner. I keep thinking about calling and getting one.

And then I remember the day after I first rode a bike in Italy.

Maybe it's like if you give a mouse a cookie. If you buy a bike, you have to buy padded bike shorts.
Womens Padded Pro Bike Short