Saturday, February 23, 2013

Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?

Data, a Love Story by Amy Webb

The Story:
My sister Carla saw Amy Webb interviewed on Good Morning America, and told me about this book. I watched the interview and was interested, so I got the book.

Webb tells about a bad break-up, being constantly set up with the wrong people, and disastrous online dating. Everything comes to a head when she goes out with a perfect-on-paper guy who tells her, half an hour into the date, that he is married. She walks out furious, calls her sister and tells her the whole story. Her sister asks if she remembers Mary Poppins and how the kids hated all their governesses and so they made a list of exactly what they wanted and Mary Poppins appeared.

So Webb sits down and makes a list. Then she decides that to really do this properly she needs to check out the competition and learn how to set up her profile so she creates fake men profiles (10 of them) and interacts with women for a month, collecting data the whole time. Finally after a month she is able to set up her own "super profile." With her "super profile" in place she begins screening the guys according to her criteria and meets her now-husband (don't worry, she tells you that in the intro, so I'm not giving anything away).

The Review:
The book was awesome. Webb is super hilarious and tells about the bad dates, and her crazy scheme, and how she kept track of it. She also included IM conversations that had me cracking up and the scene in Banana Republic is a total classic. It was seriously entertaining, and even if you aren't thinking about online dating, I recommend it just for a good read.

(Side note: I had an ... incident... recently with one of my book clubs, and so I feel compelled to say that you should only pick up this book if you are not going to get completely offended over her use of the f-word.)

The Larger Project:
I've been thinking about trying online dating for a while. I actually started a couple of times and then deleted my profile really fast.

So I've decided that with Amy Webb's tips, I can try for real and see how it works out. Here's your chance to weigh in:

1. The first step is to create the "Mary Poppins" list of what you want. What do you think should be on my list? (I'm up to 22 things already, but Webb had 72 on her list, so I've got plenty of room).

2. What are three words you would use to describe my personality/me?

3. Webb actually changes a few things about herself to make herself more attractive to her ideal guy. She quits smoking, joins a gym and loses a little weight, and buys some new clothes (after the Banana Republic scene). What do you think I need to change about myself?


  1. ooh i love this post. I need to get this book stat... followed by time to read the book.

    In making a list, I had a few really wants (i.e. blue eyes and tall), but my deal breakers were more important to me. I absolutely was not ok with a guy who had a temper. If he ever got irrationally angry I dumped him right there. Also, I sometimes dated guys who weren't the most intelligent which I would convince myself was ok--it's not. You really do need a guy who's on your level.

    For your mary poppins list
    -enjoys eating healthy
    -lives healthy lifestyle
    -speaks italian (ok, this could be bottom of the list, but it'd be cool and you could teach your kids which would make them very marketable in the future)

    2. Your personality
    -easy going
    -not a talker (in a good way--more thoughtful in your conversation)
    -self disciplined
    -a homebody (just meaning you like being at home and are ok doing things by yourself... cary is like this and I think we make a good mix to have one person more interested in going out and one who wants to stay home. It keeps us in a good balance)

    3. I honestly can't think of something for you to change. I think you are smart, cute, you dress cute (honestly I'm not one to look to advice on this), you're easy to be around, you seem up for movies or games or sports events or anything. Sooo I just say go get him!!! I can't wait to hear the results!!!

  2. 1. -Bald
    -gotta fit in with the brother in laws (might also help if your parents like him)
    -generous, mildly good looking (i don't like to feel uncomfortable at family gatherings)
    -intelligent (there's nothing worse than talking to a stupid person)

    2. sophisticated, calming, friendly

    3. guys generally like longer hair, so keeping your hair shoulder length or longer is good.

  3. 1. -Why settle for a guy that speaks Italian? He should be Italian! Make this family international baby!!
    -He must love Downton, and Project Runway, and the Amazing Race
    -He should understand your diet and cook you amazing meals
    -He has to want to go to North Carolina for Christmas

    2.Fun, easy to talk to, genius, granola

    3. I agree with Carla on this one. One thing you could change is your ride. That Bumblebee Camaro is calling your name.