Sunday, July 31, 2011

Don't go towards the light - you'll fall and break your hip.

My littlest sister is coming to visit me next week. -- in 3 days to be exact.

(Someone called me on calling her my "littlest" sister. He was like, "You mean youngest?" And -- given the astute judge of semantics that I am -- I said, "Huh?" And he said, "Well, I'm sure she's not actually the littlest." And then I had to concede that yes, she is in fact taller than I am. But still.)

I was talking to Heather about the things that I needed to do to get ready for the upcoming visit. My concern about getting ready is compounded by my mom, Carla and Cary coming as well during that week. Mostly I feel like I have to get the "Mom Clean" done this weekend.

And so I said to Heather, "Yeah, and I should try again to clean the bugs out of the kitchen light fixture, but I've tried before and I couldn't get the cover off."

And Heather said, "You should definitely try. Mom's already commented on that before."

"Yeah, she has. And then I bought a ladder, and she said, oh good, now you can get the bugs out. But I've tried and I can't get the cover off the light."

"You could replace the light and get a new fancy track light," Heather suggests.

"Right, no, here's how it would go. I try to get the cover off, and then I crack it because it's just flimsy plastic. And of course I would never be able to just go buy a new one so I would have to replace the entire light fixture."

"And you could get the track lighting with the spotlights that you can point in different directions."

"Right," I respond, "But the wiring would be different, so I would have to get the kitchen rewired. And then the hole that is already in the ceiling would be the wrong size--"

"Would it?"

"Sure it would. Long rectangular light needs a different hole than the track lights. So I would have to redo the ceiling drywall and mudd it."

"And then you would have to paint it."


"And you wouldn't find paint that would match exactly. So you would have to paint the entire ceiling. Which means the entire ceiling of your entire downstairs because it's open concept."

"Yup," I agree again.

A horrified gasp, "And do you have popcorn ceilings?"


"And you would have to repopcorn the ceiling." A pause. "Or take all the popcorn down!"

"Yeah. Wow."

"Yeah, that's not worth it."


And so the bugs are staying.

(Secretly that's not my actual kitchen light. But it looks pretty accurate.)

I wonder what I will do when the lightbulbs burn out?

1 comment:

  1. I was about to say that's disgusting!

    Anyhow, you don't have to clean for Cary and I and we also have an air mattress we're bringing so we won't be in the way too much.

    As for the mom dilemma. I'll distract her, and Cary will clean out the bugs. Problem solved. No paint, no popcorn, no electrical disasters.