Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"Bill! We're on defense!" "Whoa hoa hoa! I don't play defense."

March Madness
(I think you should just hit play here and let the song play while you read the rest of this post. )


I have a funny writing assignment. I only get to do it in March, because it is based on March Madness -- the most wonderful time of the year.


I have the students each set up a bracket (sometimes this takes some explaining, for those sad sad people who don't celebrate the holiday), picking a category and pitting anything they like against each other. Examples that I throw out are subjects like math and English, sodas like Coke and Pepsi, or the contents of one's purse, like lipstick and perfume (yeah, I don't know anyone who carries perfume, but maybe that is just because I'm not that kind of girl).

I had some really good stories last Friday. One student typed hers up and gave it to me, and I simply can't resist sharing it with you.

English vs. Band
The day finally came, English is taking on Band. The two teams were ready and standing on the Chiefs stadium. Each team could use whatever weapon they desired. The referee who was Dwayne the Rock Johnson took his place center field. As soon as he said go both teams came charging at each other. All of a sudden the Band team started shooting flutes and mallets out of the cannons. The English teams were not surprised and pulled out their giant staplers shooting them towards the other team. Oh no there goes the wind section, they all were hit by ink from the pen section from the English team. The pencil section had been crushed by the drum line. It finally came down to the captains of the teams, Band director Erica G--- from F--- O--- High and English teacher Emily M--- from B--- R---. They were each fighting each other, one with a piton in her hand and the other with a red ink pen. All of a sudden the Band captain said something so outrageous and using bad grammar it made Emily spitting mad. She crouched down and got ready to attack with foam coming from her mouth. Then the Band director said it again, "Yawl don't have no mercy on me." That was it, Emily jumped her hitting her with the pen yelling that's bad grammar and a double negative over and over again. Finally she pinned the Band director to the ground and put a giant F on her forehead. "I hate when people use bad grammar," said Emily, "do not ever do it again." The Band director tried to get up, but she couldn't, she was badly beaten. "Winner Team English," said the Rock. From that day on every student in Emily's class always used proper grammar.

Note: I decided names should be removed to protect the innocent.

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